I want people to stop insulting my dog’s age. It happened again and it will continue to happen: People are rude to my dog. I am not alone, as when I told the tale of my recent run in with “why do people say the off color things they do,” a bevy of “me, too” folks chimed in with similar experiences on Facebook.
My Cocker Spaniel is turning 8 years young next month. My previous dog lived to be one week shy of 15. The aging process is something that affects us all. Despite all the human age creams, Botox injections, and concealers on the market, we cannot stop the aging process. We will all live and we will all pass from this Earth. There is a timeless proverb that goes, “Death is the great leveller.”
While in PetSmart doing some shopping this past weekend, a gentleman and his wife approached to meet my dog, Dexter.
Said gentleman informs he is a Cocker Spaniel lover and asks Dexter’s age. After I tell him, his reply set me more than a bit back.
“Once a Cocker Spaniel is over five years old, they no longer look like puppies,” he proclaimed.
You know that mouth agape emoji that looks like this? 
Well, that was me.
Thankfully, my wife thinks on her feet and replied, “”Kind of like people.”
I am not sure what the gentleman thought of that response, as our intent is never to inflame, instigate, or anger someone when we are out in public with our dog, which is often.
Sometimes people, however, need a wake-up call.
Why Do We Want to Know a Dog’s Age Anyway?
We don’t approach people and ask their age at random (well, most of us don’t). Why then is it acceptable to ask a stranger how old their dog is? Granted, there are many valid reasons to know a dog’s age, especially as a pet parent. You want to communicate with the dog’s veterinarian in testing, report any changes, and adjust exercise, activity level, and dietary issues as they arise.
Dogs age faster than people.
I am guilty of asking strangers a dog’s age. On the flip side, I am respectful and do not thwart rude comments to pet parents because I respect people and pets.
So what’s the deal with asking a dog’s age?
Here’s our FiDOSE of Reality theory:
Theory A: We are comparing our dog to the stranger’s dog, whether consciously or subconsciously.
For example, if I see a Cocker Spaniel out and about, of course I stop to talk to his or her parent. At some point, the age question comes up. I think deep inside I want to know if my dog looks as good or maybe even is getting along a bit better than this dog.
Theory B: People are curious creatures.
We love to (make) and read headlines about the “oldest living XXX” in the world. The Today Show features folks who are 100+ years old and if you listen closely enough, a little tidbit about what keeps them on this Earth and feeling young is revealed. The same holds true with dogs. I often ask a dog’s age and then if I am surprised by the answer, I may say something like “Wow, the love you give your dog shows” or “Whatever you are doing, your dog is happy!” I want people who love dogs to feel good.
Theory C: Some people want to cut you down and just have an ignorant streak in them. It saddens me to type it but cuts deeper to know this is true. There is a rude and condescending component of society that knows no barriers. At the age of 47, I’ve learned that getting mad and allowing negative comments to tie me up in knots serves no purpose in my life. Speaking against naysayers and trying to educate the ignorant has become more the norm in my life. Of course, there are some folks who just aren’t worth educating.
How To Respond To Rude Comments About Your Dog’s Age
Although age is but one of the topics that is often discussed in doggie circles, it is not the only fodder for rude folks. Everything from weight to behavior and even the clothes a dog wears are all fair play in a rude person’s world.
There are a few ways to handle rude comments about a dog’s age:
- Ignore it and walk away.
- Toss a pot shot back.
- Educate said person that what they said is hurtful. You know, stop the behavior and end the cycle.
I asked a few folks how they handle negative or overly bold comments about their dog’s age. The replies ran the gamut, but one thread ran through all: Every person felt saddened and/or hurt by the comments.
We live in a day and age of violence that seems to be getting worse each day, heck with each passing social media minute. I understand that fear of retaliation causes some folks to stay silent. On the highways and byways, it’s called road rage. I have no idea what one calls retaliation for correcting a rudeness against one’s dog? Fido Frenzy?
I digress.
Most dog parents I asked told me they are usually caught off guard and don’t know what to say. Here are some of their replies (see if any of these have been lobbed your way):
“My dog is white around the muzzle and he’s been called an old timer.”
“One time, a person at the dog park told me that my dog’s time is limited because he has a white face.”
“Oh, those big dogs don’t live long lives, do they?”
Who in the hell says these things and finds them acceptable?
Stop it!
Seriously, stop it!
It isn’t nice, welcomed, warranted, and is downright poor manners. If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all. And if you aren’t sure what’s nice and not nice, then get a life coach. Learn.
I don’t want to engage people when they slice at my dog’s age: And since when is 7 or 8 old? Since when is 14 a time to tell me, “Well, she’s had a good life, you’ll be saying goodbye soon” acceptable?
It’s NOT!!!!! And yes, that statement was said to me at the veterinarian’s office once upon a time with my previous Cocker Spaniel.
Stop it!
If you are of the ilk that saying something back will make you feel better and will hopefully stop the cycle of rude and uncalled for behavior, feel free to borrow these quips the next time someone insults your dog’s age:
“My dog is white around the muzzle and he’s been called an old timer.”
Your reply: I’m glad my dog doesn’t understand what you just said, because he’d be insulted just like I am .
“One time, a person at the dog park told me that my dog’s time is limited because he has a white face.”
Your reply: “You wouldn’t say that to a person, so please don’t say that about my dog.”
“Oh, those big dogs don’t live long lives, do they?”
Your reply: “Age is just a number.”
It would behoove you to leave the conversation at that point. Some people don’t want to be educated and are not worth doing so. Rude seems to be the norm for some.
Why Does It Cut at A Dog Parent’s Heart?
From time to time, this blog gets heat—some of it quite flaming—from human parents who belittle me and the belief that pet parents and human parents have nothing in common. For me, and millions of others, dogs are members of the family and like children to us.
I know, though, they are not children. At the age of 15, when a teenager is out with his or her friends and a human parent watches the clock and worries, I have the same feeling about my dog. A human parent worries that their child is safe and will walk through the front door. I worry that my dog will make it another day. If my dog is blessed to live to 15 years of age, the hands of time are all that more precious to me.
This is a reality-based blog, so I am being honest when I say: I believe I need my dogs more than they need me. I am happier, calmer, more focused, in tune with myself, live more in the moment, and have a wider circle of connections, friends, and pet lovers in my life. I am happier than I’ve ever been sharing my life, my social circle, and my career with, by, and for dogs.
When someone insults my dog, he or she insults the short time that dog has on this Earth. He or she insults a being so innocent and one who does not judge. He or she is stomping on my heart that beats dog and this Mama Bear is having none of that.
You just don’t insult a person’s dog.
Age really is just a number. We’ve all got one and it creeps up on you and ticks forward year after year, stopping for no one. Embrace each day you have with your dogs and don’t let haters and negativity impede your joyful life.
Have you ever dealt with rude people insulting your dog? How do you handle it?
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